A long day at work and a rubbish journey home, something to eat and maybe a small glass of something. All of a sudden-like, that event at The Art House (or some other splendid venue) you've been meaning to go to all week looks less appealing than your comfy sofa, another glass of something and that box in the corner.
Because we've all been there, we've composed a handy guide to getting your behind off the sofa and out there doing something considerably less boring instead.
I mean really. What do you want to do with your precious, precious (and need we say seriously time-limited) life, eh? This:
(Oh wow, what groovy, groovy people they are. NOT.)
or,you know, a bit of THIS
...or making something beautiful with your own hands
......or marvelling at local musical talent
.....or having such a good dance things are getting blurry.....
....or, you know, watching these ladies.....
Now, that's a no-brainer, innit.
So, to pre-prepare for your getting out there plans......
1) Book and pay in advance for things you really want to do. Seriously. If you are as tight as we are, you won't want your hard earned cash to go to waste and will drag yourself along, which you know will be so worth it once you're there.
2) Arrange to go with a friend. Knowing another person is going to be seriously pissed off and think you're super-lame if you don't go is a great incentive to resist the sofa when it comes to time to leave.
3) If you can't do one or either of the above, visit the facebook page for the event and post 'HELL YEAH, I am SO coming to this - whoooo!' on it. That way we will ALL think you're super lame if we don't see you there, and you wouldn't want that now, would ya.
4) Get rid of your TV. We mean it.
Now, on the date of the event.....
1) DO NOT switch on the TV if you still have one. If it's already on, switch it off. Go. On. You. Can. Do. It. The computer too! Right, now you are screen free and you can tune in to your life. Well done you!
2) Get up off that sofa. Come on! Up, up, UP (don't make us come and make you).
3) Write a list of all the reasons you don't want to go out (no money, tired, don't know anyone, it's raining) and then rip it up and flush it down the dunny, saying 'Asta La Vista, lame excuses' as you do so.
4) Put on a silly song and have a little wiggle around the living room to get the blood pumping. There. Not so sleepy now.
5) Get yourself seriously gladragged up. Now, don't you just feel like taking your bad self out on the tiles? Eh?
6) Do a few sexy moves around the bedroom, admiring your bad self in the mirror whilst doing so. Feel filled with envy for all those lucky, lucky, lucky people who are going to feast their eyes on your awesomeness all night. Yeah, baby, yeah.
7) Stand still for a moment. Close your eyes. Put your hand on your heart. Feel that beating, beating thing in there? One day, that little fecker is going to up and stop on you and that'll be it. No more fun playtimes, no more learning new stuff, no more making friends with interesting folks. Not ever. So you'd better get out there and start seriously carpe-ing that diem.
8) Now, grab your keys, check the cat's in if you have one, check the oven is off, head out that door and have a great night! We'll see you there groovers!